Love as they say in the books and movies, is very difficult to come by, so when it does, we mustn’t let it go. Great. I read that once again in my mind and I realized how utterly silly it sounds, especially in today’s day and age.
Sex is easier to happen than love. These are the times we live in, and no hard feelings for those who believe in a certain way of life. It’s a matter of choice, really.
So here I was pondering over what really happened to me and my ideas of being hopelessly in love with someone, when all I find myself doing is spending a major chunk of those 24 hours everyday at the workplace, and sometimes not happily so. Then I stumbled upon Tinder, which has clearly taking the world by storm.
Before I speak (write) further, I must give a little background story. This is not a joke. My parents due to ‘societal’ pressure have/had come to believe that I am absolutely unmarriageable. Now here are the reasons why this thought may have even come to an unnamed relative/parent’s friend’s (read: influencer) mind – she is FAT; she is cantankerous; she is too independent; and all and sundry. No, none of this was said to me directly, but has been implied in various conversations. And I thank God for my parents not completely succumbing to this. Anyhow… this is how it all began and this is how I am sure I am never going to meet the father of my children who are likely to be born a few years down the line.
Tinder was like a breath of fresh air and trust me when I say this, it’s like having several boys around like the school and college days. Yes, and a lot of you who are reading this are going to start judging who I am, someone who is probably going through a lot of insecurities which I am trying to hide under layers of cynicism and the likes. Allow me to burst the bubble, that is all untrue. Post turning a year older in January this year, it broke me to see myself just growing older and not getting anywhere closer to the pinnacle. It is desperation of a certain kind, and I believe it is extremely important as long as we don’t let it turn into frustration. I am unsure if I did a good enough job explaining my point there, but I will try once again in another blog post of mine.
Coming back to Tinder, I was and am really proud that an over-achiever like Ms. Kapoor is heading Tinder India, and it would give me great pleasure to be a part of organization. It’s quirky and it’s bound to inspire awe. And let’s face it, you always need to have leaders who inspire you. This is where my experience with Tinder first began 2 or so months ago. I was online with some of my best pictures on the profile (what I think is the best, obviously). In a matter of a few minutes I had several likes and a few super likes. I was thrilled. Spoke with a few men, when asked “what brought me to Tinder”, I was quick to quip that I was there for networking, little realizing that I was being scoffed at and my intentions frowned upon. Two of these not necessarily good-looking men asked me if I knew anything about LinkedIn and how I was at the wrong place, looking for the wrong things. Irritated because of all the incorrect judgement, I deleted my profile and went back to normal day-to-day life.
A few days later, my mind spoke to me again asking why I should cower down if an unknown man thinks a certain way about me. So I was back. And this time something different happened. I was liked by better-looking guys doing well for themselves in their respective fields. So I reciprocated. Conversations with several men began yet again. Some sweet, some the kinds to feel happy about, and some outright shocking uptil the extent of disgusting. This time I learnt that if I wasn’t looking at sleeping around (which is a done thing), I should be on a matrimonial app/site only because that’s where you assuredly get a life partner. Did I mention that one of these men was much married as well? I shudder at the thought of his wife discovering this about her relatively young husband. How a loveless relationship pushed either partner to be on a well-established dating app, is what I thought and it still baffles me. Once again, my profile status is disconnected and the app uninstalled from my phone.
What was supposed to be a social experiment of sorts turned out to be a magnifier of a man’s mentality and a relationship he may be in. At no point was I closed to a blind date et al, I would have only taken it as a chance of meeting a new person, but the world doesn’t think the same as I do. Maybe it will be a long time before the one whose thoughts are on the same wavelength as mine comes across. Is he Prince Charming we read about in fairytales? Only time will tell… until then, it’s just going to be you and me getting to know each other better.