Turning 30: Is Age Just A Number?

Turning-30

Not when you’re single, by choice or not; live with your parents, and most of all, are a woman, because there is no such thing as a happy, independent, headstrong woman who knows how to take care of herself. She always wants someone to take care of her. She always wants someone to maintain a joint account with her and God save you if you think otherwise. Someone or the other will always find one way or another to make you feel inadequate about yourself.

Everyone talks about Turning 30, the internet is flooded with articles and listicles on the topic. If you’re wondering why they always said that age was just a number, and that you must take it in your stride every time, then I’ll tell you why… everybody did lie. Not because they wanted to make you feel any better about yourself, but because they were all convincing themselves that they still have one opportunity after another to make it to their defined pinnacle in life.

Jennifer-Aniston-Turning-30

It breaks me to break this to you, but ask anyone who is 30+ (yes, when you don’t want to tell someone your REAL age, you say you’re something plus, leaving the guesswork onto others. Why do you have to lie? Did your parents lie when they conceived you, some 30+ years ago? I would imagine that would’ve been mighty difficult), how life is as a single woman, and they all have heartbreaking stories to tell. Why can’t the outside world just let people be? Don’t you have your own experiences to mull over? If your answer is no, then please stop reading this from this point on. You’re wasting your precious time that you could otherwise spend eavesdropping on someone’s conversation or passing futile judgments.

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Given that all you need is love, love isn’t all we need eventually. No Sir, I beg to differ. You, you and you, all of you who I am addressing through this post, if you’re happy to be single and are fighting several demons all the time, whether it’s at work or even at home, learn to embrace each moment of your singledom. Before long you will realize that the best years of your life have just passed you by and what you have left is nothing but regret. I hadn’t meant for this to be a silly, inspirational post for anyone out there, but I do hope I have been able to drive home the point.

Jennifer-Aniston-Turning-30-Friends

I still have a few months to go before my age too gets officially rounded off to the dreaded number 30, but I am sure it is something I am going to look forward to eventually. As a matter-of-fact, the late twenties have been the most-depressing for fear of what’s going to happen and what I don’t have or haven’t achieved. But over time it’s a mature decision to understand that we’ll have figured something out eventually. It’s not as bad as we thought it’d be. At this stage I say age is really just a number. Each birthday only makes you wiser than the last. Yes, everything takes a lot of doing. If only Rome was built in a day!

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Marriage-Turning-30

About marriages, they too must happen, I reckon. What’s the point of rushing into anything just ’cause you feel this is the one for whom I will give up everything for and become a homely housewife to bring up his children? I am not demeaning this precious position, believe me, it’s just not meant for everyone and that, my friend, is not as big a deal as we make it to be. I once asked a married friend of mine, albeit a tad younger to me, what made her decide who she wanted to marry, what was that one thing that helped her figure who the father of her children would be. She said, you just know. So if you’ve thus far believed in SRK’s Rahul (naam toh suna hoga) from Dil Toh Pagal Hai and thought that “baadlon se koi pukaregi ya mere naam ka placard leke koi aayegi” then behen, aisa nahi hoga. These YRF characters don’t exist in real life. Mera The One is someone like DDLJ‘s Raj since October 20, 1995… I still wait, slightly impatiently, because it’s not great to be proven wrong. 🙂

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Until such time, here’s my mantra for life:

Me-time-Turning-30

Tina-Fey-Turning-30

Self-five-Barney-Stinson-Turning-30

And then some…

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Definitely a whole lot of self-realization,

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Yes, a lot of travel, each one a new adventure, because Bilbo, the dwarves and Gandalf gave me several travel goals. Someday…

Bilbo-Baggins-Adventure-Lord-Of-The-Rings-Turning-30

Anger Management

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Inexplicable excitement over everything. It’s okay if your co-workers think you’re high on something. Insanity is the best state of mind, afterall.

Blaire-Waldorf-Gossip-Girl-Turning-30

Role model – Miranda Priestly. Always.

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Until such time,

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Heart-Gif-Turning-30

All That’s Misplaced With Kareena Kapoor Khan-Arjun Kapoor’s Ki And Ka

Kareena-Kapoor-Khan-Arjun-Kapoor-Ki-And-Ka

Let’s begin by saying that this is the age of breaking the several stereotypes that we have all been living with. So what is it that we do first? We show brazen women, the ones who drink themselves silly, the ones who smoke, the ones who are open about having multiple sexual partners and the list continues. When we speak about men, we assume they are all ‘supposed’ to be a certain way – women fight for equality but complain when they find chivalry amiss nowadays, especially in the 20-something men.

So, what is equality? Does it mean equal pay for equal work, freedom of thoughts and speech, or having a completely misplaced sense of feminism wherein emancipation of women translates into male bashing.

This is my problem with Kareena Kapoor Khan-Arjun Kapoor’s Ki And Ka, which released on April Fool’s Day this year but I only just got around to watching it. This certainly was a film that had held my interest when it was announced. Kareena Kapoor Khan looks so glamorous that she has definitely inspired several office-goers to change their style. But having said that, let’s not get too inspired by the story. There is none. The film has been written but there is no a story it tells. If they spoke about breaking stereotypes, just the way the film’s promotions had us believe, the outcome would have been different. I don’t agree with a lot of points raised in the film in the name of feminism and equality. What we see on screen is just a mockery. Are we trying to show that men are ‘evil’ and all that they have done is to practice domestic violence or throw their weight around because they are the bread winners? How is Kia any different than a man then? She is shown to be jealous of her husband’s popularity, speaks loosely about financial dependency and beats her husband up!

Let’s not forget that the jealousy part was reverse Abhimaan, which starred Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan, and was a film with a heart.

If a woman is working today not because she has been ‘allowed’ to do so but has the freedom of making that choice, then she should definitely embrace every bit of it. There is nothing abnormal in earning money and using it in your home. A home is made through a joint contribution, whether it’s a Ki or a Ka who is managing the household. This was unfortunately a very Western concept of trying to be cool and showing how India is not backward… Only if the story was knit together with the concepts in place.

If you’re at a friend’s wedding and feel angst on seeing her getting married, where she will supposedly become her husband’s pillar of support, and make his life her own, we should accept the fact that she is doing it out of choice. Going to a workplace and earning your own money gives you a lot of freedom, agreed, but can we see a correct representation of life, please? Also, do her thoughts of being a carefree women don’t allow her to ‘stayfree’? She is menstruating and can’t dance when her friends want to pull her on the dance floor. Given this situation, all sanitary napkin brands have perhaps been lying all this while. There are no belts, no perfectly sticking glue and definitely no XL wings jo aapko unn dino mein stressfree rakhein? Yehi kehna chahte hai hum?

In the film, Ka loves trains, so he decorates his house a certain way. He is shown to be a supportive husband who gives flight to his wife’s dreams. Beautiful. But his wife, who says she is a Marketing Manager, will be a VP in two years’ time, followed by being promoted as the CEO, is perhaps a commitment-phobic bimbette. I apologize about being judgemental here doesn’t even know that there is an iconic Rail Museum in the capital of the country where she says she has lived her whole life (surprise, shock… unsure). That disturbs my train of thought, certainly.

‘Nuff said, I hope I have been able to drive my point home. I do welcome a constructive argument in this regard. Feel free to comment! The film’s saving grace was the long-time-no-see Swaroop Sampat, and I hope she makes an appearance more often.

As far as the film and our lives go, mohabbat aur ji huzoori ke fark ko samajhna zaroori hai. I leave you with this lovely song from the film: