Love is… a great feeling
Love is… figureoutable
Love is… the most favorite topic for anybody and everybody remotely attached to writing and expressing themselves
In reality, Love is… a waste of time. And I am not the only person saying it, FYI!
If it is this and so much more then why is it also the most-difficult feeling to sustain in a world where emotions seem to have taken a backseat, forever? Have we reached the point of not being able to recognize oneself in the mirror any longer? The ones who just breathe, but have forgotten to feel emotions, especially those of love?
A few days after turning 30 and being unapologetic for most things I am, I thought of putting together a few lists from the few experiences I have amassed in primarily the last decade and a half. So, to begin with, here’s a short list of the kind of men you may fall in love with in your lifetime. This is somewhat a collective database gained through experiences and lending my ear here and there hence, no names will be taken for the mere purpose of protecting others’ privacy:
- The heart is stupid, it decides it has fallen in love, when it is just the hormones acting up. Try and stop the catastrophe before your unintentionally dilated pupils tell a different story altogether to the one who is definitely not ‘The One’. He’ll mostly be the person you knew one time, and you know what to do with these memories.
- When you are what I like calling a ‘dil-phenkh aashiq’, you can’t decide how many men you can like/love/lust after at the same time. Most often than not, these feelings get mixed up instead and your prospective (insert feeling here) has already run miles away from you, with no intention of returning. Of course, we must discount the fact that after having run so far and long, his shoes must have worn out as well, so there is no chance of him returning all the same. Once again, don’t feel bad you told him how you felt, he just chose to make it a marathon, probably one where a few others will be following him, while women enjoy their peace without them.
- He comes and goes, and every time says something different to you, in the process baffling you. There is nothing more to explain on this point, this is the most important lesson in a relationship and we’ve come to call it the He’s-Just-Not-That-Into-You feeling. Time to wake up from the illusion of the dream he’s probably been showing you.
- He once said he loved you, or just didn’t say the words, yet made you feel special in some way or another, and you being you thought this is it, the one you must move mountains for… and what did you find instead? He decided to hole up somewhere because he couldn’t bear the intensity of your feelings for him.
- He seemed to be around you all the time. You felt he is right there waiting for you to realize his potential as the perfect boyfriend/significant other, but the moment you make your move, he decides to ‘open up’ to you to tell you how you and he were ‘just friends’. Guess what you feel at this point? Let me help, nothing but anger at yourself and regret of letting go of someone else who was probably more forthcoming when you were waiting for person of interest in this case to overstep the boundary he created in the first place. What a bummer!
- You’re in love with this one. He too says he is in love with you. But did you read the fineprint where there were umpteen conditions apply written? No? You’re not wrong, most of us don’t. Him loving you back comes with the baggage of spending all your weekends and other waking hours with him and obviously not talk and get to know each other better in these hours… but just exchange body fluids. Easy, isn’t it? You have sex with him till he gets bored of you and a few years later, especially if you’re lucky, you get invited to his wedding as well. Voila!
- This one’s going to be your most special – love interest, friend, mentor etc. You tell him everything about yourself, you call him your best friend and you expect almost nothing in return, except that shoulder to cry on from time to time. But should you EVER fall in love with this kind, all hell will break loose. In a worst case scenario, you may even lose face amidst the others in this ‘society’ we live in. But you’re going to be the girl who has her head held high at all times. Remember, we give much less importance to ourselves than we do to the men we are involved with but when you realize your first priority and your forever is you, most things will find the right crevice to fit in.
7 seemed a bit less, but they should do their messaging bit to all of you reading this. Of course many of our experiences will differ, so it would be amazing having you share them with me. If nothing, then let’s just drink to the feeling of being headstrong, independent women even if we live in questionable circumstances, yet carry on doing what we’ve been doing all our lives thus far, and will continue doing so in the future too. Kudos!