How Not To Give A Fuck…

… When That’s All You Really Know.

My current internet God, Mark Manson has inspired me write something I had been dwelling on for several years now and hence after reading The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, a simple way into understanding basic behavioral aspects in most human beings, this idea finally found some bearing. You know how they say that you will only truly ‘understand’ something when you are in a particular situation, thoughts like these, however, will facilitate the understanding, mostly because not everyone can, should and must get their hands dirty to learn about life and its marvels.

The question that arises is if wanting to Fuck This and Fuck That the solution to anything concrete? The answer is a simple “yes”. However trivial it might sound, there are really no two ways about it because through learning how not to give a fuck you achieve what some may call “unfuck” yourself. I call it a level close to having achieved urban nirvana, with no offense to any person or any faith. So the next time you feel mindfucked about issues at work, with parents, school, teachers etc., remember that it is important to address the issue if it bothers you because like Mark says, you don’t give a Fuck how the relationship building goes, it is the issue at hand that is bothersome and if the person at the receiving end of your wrath really cares, the line will not be crossed. This, because, it doesn’t matter how closely connected you are to someone, there always is a line that mustn’t be crossed.

At the beginning of this piece I spoke about having dwelled on something for the last few years and have been able to carry on despite being in the doldrums, mostly ’cause I would, and sometimes for no reason, give a piece of my mind to people on the other side, my parents. So this year, with the sudden passing of my father, I was angry, at him, at myself, at everyone who was bullying my generally gullible mother and before long came to realize that despite the very difficult 5 months, this perpetual I-will-smash-your-face-anger had fucked me up furthermore. So should I then be on a cleaning spree and become aloof to everything? Would it help, I am sure not. This, I must elaborate, wasn’t because I had run out of people to give a fuck unto, but because in this process of no self control or anger management, I was losing my peace of mind (obvious that there wouldn’t be any pieces remaining thence – you know, piece/peace homonym).

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Following Mark’s teaching, being indifferent and not giving a Fuck to something are different concepts where the former shows a large portion of cowardice one is made of. Of course, just by reading a few articles, books etc. doesn’t make me a know-it-all, even though a friend of mine has rechristened me Vanity (I am, okay with that, bleh). But I can say one thing for sure, from the heart, I am on the path to learning how to not give a Fuck to everything. In a day comprising 24 hours, we make ourselves much too vulnerable to almost everything. It is like getting affected by the water cooler because it pours down on you (or into your water bottle), I am certain you get the drift.

And like we have discussed, it isn’t about learning the art of enduring everything, no, for that you have to join a gym and do some endurance training. It is just knowing where to stop giving a Fuck because they don’t care about us hence we have to step in and be our own Superman/Superwoman. Agree? Since the essence of the article is inversely proportional to your thoughts about this supposed philosophical piece, I am going to stand by the stand I have taken *the boss has now left the building*

Here’s a powerful meditation that instantly brings you peace:

UPDATE: This process is still loading… getting there in no time (as of August 19, 2017)

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“Jaa Simran Jaa… Jee Le Apni Zindagi”

Jaa simran jaa… jee le apni zindagi [sic]

Nothing, I assure you, could’ve sounded (and felt) more liberating than these words spoken by Simran’s stern, principled father, Chaudhari Baldev Singh (Amrish Puri) in Yash Chopra’s landmark film, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge (1995), the film that continues to be a favorite amongst all romantics, 21 years hence.

When Simran (Kajol) dreamt of finding her Prince Charming, little did she know that she’d find this guy who was a stark opposite of who she was as a person – an introvert, a dreamer, family-oriented and so much more. Her eventual Prince Charming, Raj (Shahrukh Khan) is, on the other hand, a rich brat who lives with his father in a sprawling mansion somewhere in London, chills for most of his time and voila! finds his lady love, on yet another holiday when he is travelling on the Eurail with his friends, who happen to be (soon-to-be) directors, Karan Johar and Arjun Sablok, respectively. Of course, what you do notice is a 360-degree difference in Raj & Simran’s standard of living.

Save for three girlfriends from college and her mother (Farida Jalal), Simran doesn’t have many friends, she writes poetry and shares them with her mother until one day, her bubble bursts when she realizes the irony of her life; like most girls from an Indian family, her marriage has been fixed with a family friend, without her consent, of course. The decision, sealed by her father.

Raj, who doesn’t face pressures of any kind from his father lives a complacent life comprising holidays, drinks while he wears his heart on his sleeve. This, until, he falls hopelessly in love with a simple Punjabi girl, whom he fondly refers to as Senorita (because of a certain Spanish girlfriend who didn’t like Indian men).

Cut to the chase, the two realize at two different intervals in the film that they both love each other immensely, and then starts their ‘struggle’ in the relationship. Raj decides to take the hard way out of this ordeal. For what could be the first time, he chooses the hard path and decides to fight for his love instead of eloping with the love of his life. His fight for love is so appealing, that it steals many hearts, especially of a woman’s. After all, a dimpled smile and soft brown eyes are difficult to ignore! Raj’s strife comes to an end when Baldev Singh realizes what has been transpiring all these days, insults the deeply-in-love boy, and separates the inseparable couple that Raj and Simran are.

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Simran must have felt so caged in her superficially normal life till she found true love in this man named Raj, her only outlet being her dreamland where a voice often beckoned her to join him in his para-paradise…

The challenge was not to admit her true feelings to her beau but to be able to get her conventional-thinking father to accept an independent soul, Raj and let her take off with him than get her to live a stifling life with the decided fiance, Kuljeet. If you look deeper, you would find that beneath this hard shell of strong ideas, lives a man who believes in love and would want his daughter to breathe and spend her life with her Prince Charming.

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The original post, written during my stint at BookMyShow.com features here: https://in.bookmyshow.com/entertainment/jaa-simran-jaa-jee-le-apni-zindagi/19740

And if you’re looking for reasons to watch Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge, here’s a list of trivia for you: https://in.bookmyshow.com/entertainment/reasons-watch-ddlj/38916

Save ‘Em Boys

… for they are the ones who are the most in danger, from girls, women, society and the world at large, especially the ones who stand by their women.

Every time a woman wears a dress, jeans, shorts or a skirt, she is putting every man ogling at her in mortal danger. This loose sense of dressing causes men to lose their minds and the power to rationally think through any objectionable action like an attempt to rape or even going all the way. The woman has obviously asked for it. It’s all her fault. These poor men will be men, what wrong have they done by not evolving with the years?

If you’re a woman trying to co-exist with them men in the society today, you must know that you’re hurting them men. So if you go out asking for it, you shouldn’t feel offended when he makes his move and shows some swag, right? Infact take this piece of advice, you’ve probably read all the wrong books all your life. Even in fairy tales every damsel in distress needs saving and what’s better than being saved by her Prince Charming? In this case, it’s all the men who are merely unsuspecting onlookers, so if you provoke them to bring out their otherwise latent carnal desires, whose fault is it then?

Because you are a woman, you are SUPPOSED to be well-dressed, well-behaved, show how you come from good families and a few other easily doable steps that determine your safety. Should you fail to do so, should you decide to drink, smile at men, joke with them or even agree to have dinner with them regardless of how ravenous you may be at the time, you are only inviting these poor men to come closer, touch you, and show you your place (aukaat).

So wake up, ladies. You have to stop living, just so men  can live. You may be the reason men are alive, but you can’t have the same rights as them. It’s wrong. Do the society some good, save ’em boys, be their Dame in Shining Armor because their facade of being the Knight in Shining Armor has now been proven wrong, they are just douchebags in tin-foil.

P.S. Some creative liberty has been taken in switching between boys and men, it’s after all a matter of age and maturity. Although some boys love to think they have a little bit of Peterpan in them.

This post has been written post my thoughts after watching Pink this evening. The film’s concept was relevant then, is now and will continue to be so. 

Yeh Dooriyan

Ek ajeeb sa rishta hai mera… Tumhare phone ke saath kyunki tum toh masroof rehte ho. Shayad yehi masla hai mera, tum bina jeena aata nahi, tumhare saath jeena chahti nahi.

Jab tumhari yaad aaye, toh mann kehta hai abhi isi waqt tumhari aawaz sun loon. Raat bhar jab jaag ke khuli aankhon se sapne dekhne ki koshish karti hoon toh khud ko rok leti hoon, jaise ek paabandi lagadi ho khud par… Kyunki mera ahem mere pyaar se bada hai, aur tumhara bhi.

Kya tumhein yaad nahi woh lamhein Jo hum saath bitaya karte the aur vaadein nibhane ki baatein kiya karte the? Main toh nahi bhooli har woh lamha par waqt ne apna sitam kiya aur le aaya hamare beech yeh dooriyan, jab phone aur WhatsApp ke saath rishta reh gaya hai hamara, ek baar bhi woh aawaz sun loon ya woh jawaab paa loon tumse toh lagta hai jaise ek aur zindagi jee loon tumhare paas, tumhare saath, tumhare kareeb.

एक अजीब सा रिश्ता है मेरा… तुम्हारे फोन के साथ क्यूंकी तुम तो मसरूफ़ रहते हो. शायद यही मसला है मेरा, तुम बिना जीना आता नही, तुम्हारे साथ जीना चाहती नही.

जब तुम्हारी याद आए, तो मॅन कहता है अभी इसी वक़्त तुम्हारी आवाज़ सुन लून. रात भर जब जाग के खुली आँखों से सपने देखने की कोशिश करती हूँ तो खुद को रोक लेती हूँ, जैसे एक पाबंदी लगादि हो खुद पर… क्यूंकी मेरा अहेम मेरे प्यार से बड़ा है, और तुम्हारा भी.

क्या तुम्हें याद नही वो लम्हें जो हम साथ बिताया करते थे और वादें निभाने की बातें किया करते थे? मैं तो नही भूली हर वो लम्हा पर वक़्त ने अपना सितम किया और ले आया हमारे बीच यह दूरियाँ, जब फोन और WhatsApp के साथ रिश्ता रह गया है हमारा, एक बार भी वो आवाज़ सुन लून या वो जवाब पा लून तुमसे तो लगता है जैसे एक और ज़िंदगी जी लून तुम्हारे पास, तुम्हारे साथ, तुम्हारे करीब.

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Baar Baar Dekho – Movie Review: Katrina-Sidharth’s Love Story Travels Through Time

The last seven days I have spent time giving this a fair thought, amidst work hours, during lunch breaks, one of the many sleepless nights that what I could possibly write about a film that I was expecting a lot from, yet was disappointed to see the final delivery on the screen. Would it have been the first time I was dissing a film? Anyone who has been reading my reviews over the last few years wouldn’t quite agree with this because I strongly believe that writing bad reviews is the easiest thing to do, just like being a plain Jane in a film. It’s the good ones that actually nag you till you’ve written something satisfactory enough to publish and God save you if that satiation only comes by 3-4 or more reworks. This is like getting to play the comedian in a film, ’cause you could be tearing up inside yet you are expected to always be happy and be successful in making the audience laugh because what good is a comedian if he doesn’t have what we loosely term as ‘the perfect comic timing’.

I apologize, but the feelings and the unexpressed angst against the film is causing me to digress into a zone I would probably have preferred venturing into at a later date, surely. So yes, Nitya Mehra’s Baar Baar Dekho is a film you are happy to be imagining via the beautifully shot and extremely melodious songs. Maybe become a modern-day Sanjay. Not that Mehra’s direction and storytelling is faulty, it just doesn’t blend with the flavor of the film. Was it the bad acting? Not when you have actors as evolved as Sarika, Ram Kapoor, Sayani Gupta (first seen in Margarita With A Straw opposite Kalki Koechlin), and even Katrina Kaif who believe you me, has evolved over the last 15 odd years she has spent in Bollywood looking good on the screen at all times. I was taken by her abs, obviously, because the fat on my belly wasn’t even burning out of jealousy. *Sigh* 

But we need to address the elephant in the room… our handsome non-actor Sidharth Malhotra because he has been given too much to do. This could have been his best work, to be honest. But he was debating whether he really was 46 years old and what he could do in his life apart from the thesis on Vedic Mathematics. But as per the story, he is a great boyfriend and a horrible husband. All because he can’t decline the marriage proposal yet is okay being a douchebag once the woman is his for keeps. Another question that arises in this scenario is, what takes Katrina Kaif’s character, Diya, 16 years to divorce this guy? Like several women in real life, there seemed to be no monetary issue that would have kept her with him when he clearly wasn’t in it. Anyhow, I am pretty certain you all know the story by now having read and watched several reviews so far. However, if you’ve missed Sahil Rizwan’s work, don’t miss it at any cost! Baar Baar Dekho is a bad copy of a few good films including Before I Go To Sleep (which had little bearing on the film) and Click (Adam Sandler starrer which was made when you could still sit through his films without feeling sick). All you need at a time like this is a good film to help you out of the hangover. Mine has already stayed for a week. Alas, Sidharth Malhotra’s easy equation caused a strange locha in my brain. 

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A Love Story (Not): Kapoor And Sons – A Heartwarming Story About The Little Things In Life

The first -of-its-kind from the Dharma Productions’ banner, Kapoor And Sons starring Fawad Khan, Alia Bhatt, Sidharth Malhotra supported by veteran actors like Rishi Kapoor, Ratna Pathak Shah and Rajat Kapoor is not a love story, not a love triangle and definitely not what the trailers and the happy songs looked like. It is a heartwarming story about all the little things in life that we often miss when we go on living our daily lives, in a way we assume is living albeit in a robotic fashion. This is something you probably have heard, read, seen before, but getting the chance to see all this in a mainstream Bollywood drama is a fresh start for several reasons. We have stereotyped actors for playing the happy-go-lucky, sometimes wasted characters that bring so much weight to their roles that you may find yourself wondering if you knew they possessed the caliber.

Watch the trailer and you feel this is going to be another film about a dysfunctional family, because well, all families have their share of issues and skeletons in the closet, but they sail through. But Shakun Batra, along with his writer Ayesha DeVitre tells a Hollywood-style story in a very Bollywood fashion, with its fair share of melodrama and the usual stereotypes. Remember Tennesse Williams and his play, August: Osage County?

The songs, except the soul-stirring Saathi Rey (never promoted and aptly saved for the film) and the romantic Bolna (I believe to mislead the relationship the trio shares), are party songs that you automatically find your feet tapping to. Little do they tell about what lies in store for you as you spend 2 hours and 20 minutes in the theatre watching this marvellous story unfold.

Some of us who’ve practically grown up watching films made under Yashraj Studios and Dharma Productions’ banner, will agree that there was a wee-bit of tomfoolery we expected to watch on the screen since the trend of showing homosexuality and extra-marital affairs in our movies has thus far, told a completely different story.

Speaking of acting prowess, Alia Bhatt should have brought more to the screen with her much-evolved self. As an audience, I saw a more mature actress from Highway in Kapoor And Sons. She was the bubbly girl until she bared her soul on screen. In Sidharth Malhotra’s case, there were ample good looks I expected and little acting since he has always, atleast uptil now, managed to look extremely handsome on screen but has done little to show that models-turned-actors can really weave magic on screen.

Fawad Khan, Rishi Kapoor, Ratna Pathak Shah, Rajat Kapoor are the four names who we’re much better off not commenting on, we just wish they get roles where acting is a much-needed flair and star name isn’t a pre-requisite. It’s been a little over a year since we were exposed to Fawad’s acting prowess kind courtesy his shows on Zindagi channel, followed by a fairytale romance in the runaway hit, Khoobsurat. When he said in an interview that he was completely sold on the script, I frankly found it difficult to believe, given that I wasn’t expecting a deep story that I would find myself rooting for post March 18. If you ask me if the story made me cry, I will be honest, it did not. If you ask me what it did to me, then let’s just say this piece is a tribute to my true feelings about this beautiful film and as a film-lover, I would love to watch out for films like this from the Hindi film industry. The next from the Dharma Productions’ banner is quite the awaited Ae Dil Hai Mushkil that is said to place Ranbir Kapoor back on the bandwagon as one of the most-promising actors of the industry (some of us didn’t doubt that, though).

A version of this article was originally published on one of the sites I was previously working on. You can read it here.

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How Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Teaches You To Thank God For Every Breath

When Zoya Akhtar changed the way the world envisioned female directors, especially in the Hindi Film Industry, you knew that you were getting yourself into a movie experience you would never want to forget. With a deep philosophical thought in the title, the film opened with something else altogether. The opening scene shows a guy and a girl in a romantic setting with the guy down on one knee, asking for her hand in marriage. Little could anyone have gauged what lay in store. Basically the guy in question, Kabir played by Abhay Deol, was a man with a heart of gold, the kinds that is called a ‘catch’ in real life.

Cut to the part that makes the film what it is. I am assuming that all of you who are reading this post have watched the film atleast once. Cause if you haven’t, then I will find you, and make you watch the film. Mostly ’cause this is one of the closest movies to my heart and became the answer to my loneliness when I used to walk aimlessly on the streets of Colaba uptil Marine Drive, sometimes beyond Chowpatty and back just to find a solution to where I was going in life. That was 2011. I had watched ZNMD 4 times in one week at a theatre that’s very close to my heart as well, the iconic Regal Cinema, all alone, and enjoyed each scene every single time. Since then there have been countless revisits to the movie, surely, but the first few remain unforgettable. 

This film also starred Hrithik Roshan and Farhan Akhtar in pivotal roles with Katrina Kaif and Kalki Koechlin adding the femininity in this high-on-testosterone drama. At the outset, this is an out-and-out guy film with three friends growing up together, going on to follow their respective passion(s) in life. I say passion and not dreams, because they hold a different meaning for everyone, and in most cases it cannot or is not the same.

So then why do I think that ZNMD is a film that teaches you to be thankful for every breath you take? Read on to find out:

A Competitive Spirit, Against All Odds

If Arjun (Hrithik) not had been driven my money, he wouldn’t have gone on to become equivalent of the wolf of Wall Street. In a candid conversation with a woman he fancies, it is revealed how after his father’s passing, his mother and he had a tough time getting by. Hence the reason behind his workaholism and his attitude towards personal relationships is understandable, and by the by justified.

Life-Changing Revelation

Farhan Akhtar uncovers a truth about his family that puts him in an existential crisis of kinds. When he tells his friends about it, they are obviously supportive, but it is a truth that Farhan has to face or hide in the deepest corners of his heart. His friends, however, are quite unsure of his ulterior motive of choosing Spain for his road trip. But, as they say, darr ke aage jeet hai

Dil Ki Betaabiyaan

As Farhan Akhtar recites, “dilon mein tum betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum“, he has very articulately expressed a simple funda… if you’re desperate, you are willing to go on till you realize your dreams. Desperation, unfortunately is a misunderstood term in today’s day and age. It has little to do with being a untamed bull (pun intended) and a lot to do with how being laidback and adopting a lackadaisical attitude can cost you your time, which is more precious than the most precious gem. In the words of Fun and their popular song, We Are Young, we can make the most of our time while we are young along with making memories to cherish, we know we can set the world on fire by just burning brighter than the sun. In other words, we need to believe we are all stars in our own right.

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Khwabon Ke Parindey

I’ll elaborate this line with a few lines from the song,

Kahe yeh dil ke jaa udhar bhi tu
Jahaan bhi leke jaaye aarzoo

It speaks about following your heart, through and through. We all know of atleast one person who has already done it or has definitely spoken about “leaving their job to travel and explore”, yours truly is one of them. But is that a long term or a short term solution? Is wanting to break free a sign of escapism or does it have anything to do with wanting to let go because monotony has completely seeped in and there is nothing more that you can endure beyond this point? Honestly, that’s a question this blog or I cannot answer for you. Mere dil ki aarzoo is to write to make myself heard, aapki kya hai woh pehchanni zaroori hai…

No Afsos, Seize The Day, Carpe Diem

zindagi-na-milegi-dobara Because Hrithik Roshan (Arjun) is a workaholic and has no time for love or respecting his partner, because Farhan Akhtar (Imran) writes his secrets in his little black book and is living with a haunting present and Abhay Deol (Kabir) is all-set to get married but doesn’t want to… the course the film and the road trip in Spain changes everything for the three musketeers. For everyone who loved the film and continues to do so, each time is a new learning from it. Then there are some who feel it’s a regular bromance and has nothing much to offer, but we will address this point later. Yes, there are several Hollywood films that speak about following your heart and going after what your true calling is… but I don’t know of many such films that inspired me to say leave everything and go be a hermit or something. 
zindagi-na-milegi-dobara Looking forward to hearing from you soon, kya pata Kal Ho Naa Ho. ❤

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Ae Dil Hai Mushkil: Ranbir Kapoor’s ‘Ek Tarfa Pyaar’

From a breezy college romance in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai to family dramas (or dramata) of different kinds in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and Kal Ho Naa Ho, moving onto a mature love story in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna and My Name Is Khan, and then launching three of the most promising young actors in Bollywood today with Student Of The Year, Karan Johar is making a comeback with what looks like a well-knit love story, and thank God for that!

It’s definitely not the first time we will watch an extra-marital affair unfolding on the 70 mm screen, and definitely not the first by KJo, (he’s made KANK in 2006 and a short story in Bombay Talkies in 2013 that touched upon a similar theme) but it’s the first time I’m so pumped up to watching something by the director and most of it could be because I’ve practically grown up watching cinema presented by YRF Studios and Dharma Productions, having fed on masala Bollywood and feeling strongly for most of the characters. Of course, my most-favorite remain Amit, Shobha and Chandni from Silsila.

ae-dil-hai-mushkil-image-1 Ae Dil Hai Mushkil is all-set to release this Diwali and stars Ranbir Kapoor as Ayan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as Saba and Anushka Sharma as Alizeh. The film will also have Fawad Khan playing a special role (it’s got to be special, ’cause, Fawad…)

The first thoughts I got from the teaser that released this morning was… wow! An intense romance, couple-in-love, couple-out-of-love, a warm friendship and a melodious song in Arijit Singh’s voice. More so because everyone is looking so gorgeous in every frame! Does it make you feel “how can someone look so good?”ae-dil-hai-mushkil-image-1Ranbir Kapoor says, “ek tarfa pyaar ki taakat hi kuchh aur hoti hai, auron ke rishton ki tarah yeh do logon mein nahi batti, sirf mera haq hai ispe.” While we don’t have a chance of discovering what the theme of the film really is going to be, as per past reports from various Bollywood sites, the film is about an extra-marital affair and probably inspired by the 1977 film, Doosra Aadmi starring Rishi Kapoor, Neetu Singh (the couple wasn’t married yet) and Rakhee. To know that a film by Yash Chopra has been inspired into a film by Karan Johar is quite comforting because you know your minutes at the theatre, the long wait for the film and what-I-feel-it-will-make-me-feel-feeling after the film is not going to be a futile exercise.

While I listen to the song with such deep meaning on loop, click to listen to the song on Saavn. Twitter is abuzz with how the title song is similar to Hamari Adhuri Kahani’s title song, I want to ask how? Do you know?

Anyhow, here’s the teaser of Ae Dil Hai Mushkil:

In his recent interview with film critic Rajeev Masand, Ranbir Kapoor had sounded very sure of himself despite facing brickbats for his last three debacles, Besharam, Roy and Bombay Velvet (Tamasha was a hit, yes, but not understood by most of the audience, including established critics. An unfortunate situation for a beautiful film). We know why. *prepares to write something on Tamasha now*

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Living On The Plus Side: Swarna’s Story

Swarna (while trying out a dress at a shopping mall): “Does this dress make me look fat?”

Swarna’s mother: “Beta, jaisi ho waisi hi dikhogi naa.” (Honey, you’ll look just like you are)

Her mom just said it and hoped she’ll laugh it off and forget about it. But she remembers. Because this doesn’t stop here. Swarna buys the dress anyway and resolves to reduce that ‘curve’, paunch being a better word just to be able to look better in something two sizes smaller than her actual body measurements. She is a successful girl, with an independent school of thought, and doesn’t believe in following certain conventions, like getting married and procreating before she ‘misses the bus’ at age 30. She is happy with who she is, and she knows who she wants to be, there isn’t any pretence about her.

As she grows older though, the stigma that plagues every single woman in a country like ours, gets to her as well. She has become a recluse, and this wasn’t by choice. It was the constant nagging that she has had to listen to all her growing up years that has caused this self-esteem problem to surface in her. Why are we talking about this girl, you may ask? Because like her, there are a lot of women out there who are forced to leave their identity behind to fit into what I would like to call a farcical face of the society. Lose weight or you will not look desirable, lose weight or you will remain unmarriageable, lose weight because men and women alike will laugh at you, lose weight because there won’t always be a Pluss, ALL and other brands that will come to your rescue all the time, lose weight because you will not be able to conceive. Okay. Thank you. Understood. Can a woman choose what she wants to do with her body? Have you asked her how she would like to go about this? Or have you checked on her every minute of every day to understand why she is the way she is? What she eats, what her workout regime is, what her sleep pattern is like?

Dear Sir/Ma’am, she could be a size 16 or 18 because she is built a certain way. What we forget are genes, lineage and cultural differences that play a major role in shaping up a person physically as much as mentally. She could really be big-boned, without an iota of fat on her body. Ask, before you judge.

plus-size-thoughtsHowever, before some of you feel that this is a rant of sorts on being called fat by people, I must assure you, Swarna isn’t me. Swarna is the girl who has been body-shamed by almost everyone she has met in her life including the aunty who keeps an eye on her to make her the topic of discussion whenever someone lends her an ear. As far as I am concerned, I look at life on the plus side and am content with that, but not everyone is a sponge (they don’t absorb :P)

All of this year I’ve been reading several articles on how one responded when she was looked down upon for being fat. My argument is, however much these words hurt, you cannot ask anyone to keep their gob shut. So then, why do their words hurt you? Do they earn for you so you can pay your bills? Either ways, it shouldn’t matter. Remember Deepika Padukone’s My Choice that released and earned mixed reactions from all over? This is where the real choice comes in, not choosing who to sleep with and how to take the number higher. Seriously, that is passé. Believe me, it takes a lot to give a cold shoulder to negativity such as this. I was once called a Fat Fuck by someone at work. What astounded me was that it was said by a woman I idolized for a long time till she worked very hard towards shattering that image of hers. Her bad, really. That’s not all, at 29.5 and highly opinionated, there have been many who have personally messaged me to tell me that I am ranting when I talk about things that affect me or just stuff that I want to say. And then there was this time in college when the rumor was I could never get a boyfriend because I was fat. Only if being single wasn’t a matter of choice just like being a hardcore romantic is. I felt the need to share this part with you to assure you that I’ve probably been as burnt as you have been, I just have the balls to face my issues and stand up for myself. With this post, I am only making an attempt to reach out.

A popular Facebook page, Top Knot, posted a video a while ago about what according to several wise people out there plus-size girls cannot do. It’s a pity I stumbled upon it only today else I’d have mustered the courage and written this post long ago. This was only an idea to start my own little revolution to help young girls fight issues such as these but the real motivation came today and I can’t thank Top Knot enough for that. Watch the video and read on…

As you saw, there are a lot of Swarnas out there, there are just a handful few who stand for what they believe in and feel they can lead by example. Not to sound pompous or anything, but I have been that motivation for a lot of seemingly out-of-shape girls whose minds are conditioned to believe that bye-bye arms and thunder thighs are the worst things to happen to a human being, more so a woman, hence the solution… keep it all covered. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever give her a chance to enjoy her youth, her beauty, her body. Grow up, please. Time isn’t waiting for anyone, none of us are getting younger, and celebrating each day is far better than crying over what could have been. Ask one who has lost something precious what the phrase, ‘for one more day’ means to them.

This is where I begin. I want to motivate young girls out there and I want to start right. I do not say don’t exercise, eat cup cakes every day and consider that sprint to the bakery as the best workout ever. Keep your organs healthy, your mind sound and your face glowing, everything else is just a number that will not matter when you grow older and reflect on life. Are you with me on this?

EDIT: Nora Whelan (Buzzfeed) puts the discussion of body positivity into perspective through this recent article of hers. Click here to read it: 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/norawhelan/body-positivity-101?utm_term=.iia9LV2v9g#.hgwp46NapK 

Once again, please share credit should you ever feel pumped by my opinion on things. It’s good practice 🙂 

Katrina Kaif Tells The Girls When The Right To Get Married Is In This Titan Ad

Last year, whilst writing for one of the websites I was working on officially, I wrote my thoughts on Katrina Kaif’s then much-spoken-about advertisement, When is the right time to get married? #HerLifeHerChoices.

The content obviously is very old, what with everyone talking about Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif being ‘it’ couple and planning to walk down the aisle very soon as well. Then something changed, and it’s invited many more speculations including Kat’s breakup being a publicity stunt for the epic love drama, Fitoor that released earlier this year.

Without further ado, here’s a throwback to that article because as old as the ad may be, the content is bang on and will be as relevant as the years go by as it is now because we love talking about marriages, attending them and liking pictures of people getting married on our Facebook walls.

READ: When Is The Right Time To Get Married, Ask Katrina Kaif

Also take a look at Katrina sharing pearls of wisdom on marriage and more here:

What’s your take on this?