Pink

Aerosmith said pink was everything from the color of passion to love at first sight, even “Pink it’s like red but not quite, and I think everything is going to be all right…”

All these thoughts hit me yesterday on what I can call my own promenade set along the Arabian Sea in this part of the bustling city of Bombay (Mumbai for most). The serene waters when the ebb was low transported me into another world just as I realized how blue I had been all these months. It wasn’t a moment of finding myself, but it was surely a step in that direction. Find myself not ’cause I feel lost or aimless, it’s just the fog that’s been thickening which needs to clear sooner than later, so the strong beam from the lighthouse doesn’t misguide the lone ship on unknown waters.

To put this feeling in a few words, I’ve seen red, I’ve felt blue, but it is the pink hue that makes me want to make my dreams come true.

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Behne Do

… inn aansuon ko

Yeh duniya tere dard se anjaan hi rahe toh accha hai. Aakhir tu kisse sahanubhooti ki umeed lagaye baitha hai? 

Yaad rakh ki tu khud hi apni taqdeer likh raha hai, kabhi apne karm se, kabhi apni choices se. Toh phir iss kahaani ki dor kisi aur ko kyun diye jaa raha hai? 

Kuchh diggaj sajjanon ne kaha hai ki teri khushi ka faisla tu khud hi karta hai, aur phir inhone hi kuchh aise rules bana diye ki khushi aapke bank balance ke size par nirbhar hone lagi. 

Aise mein jab jigri doston se comparison hone lage, insecurities badhne lage aur frustration hoti rahe toh tu kya hi kare? Isliye inhein behne de, behte rehne de… lekin yaad rakh ki isse apni uss kahaani ka ek chapter hi maan kar chal, kyunki chalte rehna hi teri kismet hai, tera karam hai. Yehi iss duniya ka sabse pehla ‘rule’ hai. 

Maa Ka Phone, Papa Ki Call

Apni rozmarrah ki zindagi mein humne kitni hi baar apne maa-baap ka phone ‘miss’ ya ignore kiya hoga… apne aap ko samjhate hue ki “hum kitne vyasth hai, hamare parents nahi samajhte.”

Hum roothte hai toh woh hamein mana hi lete hai, fark sirf itna hai ki bachpan mein jo kaam khilone ya chocolate se hota tha, umar ke saath saath wahi stakes badh bhi jaate hai… jaise ego jo aapke bank balance se directly proportional hoti hai, in most cases. Khair yeh kabhi aur ki baat hai, par baat yehi hai ki jahan hum apne aap ko hi bhool chuke hai, wahan Hum kisi aur ko kya yaad rakhenge. Aur phir hum proudly kahenge ki “main itni busy rehti hoon ki mahina bhar apne parents se baat nahi karti.” 

Every relationship is a matter of setting priorities. 

And all said and done, woh phone call kab aana bandh ho jaaye, aap anumaan bhi nahi laga sakte. Jis call/duty se aap door bhaag Rahe the, usi ek feeling ke liye aap ab shayad apna poora schedule change kar sakte hai. You know how they say, act before it’s late and especially take a cue from someone who craves that attention from their parent (s) long after they are gone. 

The Wrong Piece Of The Puzzle

He fell off from amidst the other pieces kept together in the box of puzzle games when the bag that carried this puzzle was stored along with other of its own type. He was always told by the wiser (and other) pieces that he was unique and would always find his way back, even though his uniqueness, oft misunderstood as his peculiarity, would make him stand out wherever he went.

In his journey to go back to where he came from, he had several encounters, some good, some unpleasant, some that left scars deep enough to make the already indecipherable picture and letters on this piece more unidentifiable. One such meeting was with The Ugly Duckling and as we all know, the duckling too grew up to be a beautiful white swan, giving his story a well-deserved happy ending. As far as the story of this piece goes, he befriended many like himself, the ones who seemed to be the ultimate misfits at the outset, yet went on to find themselves by just following the path either they or the puzzle-solver so to speak, had chalked out for them.

The piece did find many puzzles thereafter, but his memory had soon started failing him about who he really was, where he came from and where was he headed. He tried his best to fit in wherever he felt he belonged but alas, the problem with being the misfit is that being sure of where you belong is an unsolved mystery, and usually remains one.

This piece, unique once, with a questionable status now, wants to find solace in the next best crevice or gap he can fill, find a middle ground from being the perfect fit and the complete misfit. He doesn’t seek to be The One, he doesn’t seek to be The Wrong One too. His past experiences have taught him one important thing about trying too hard, it won’t be long before the bluff is caught and that’s the time you can neither run, nor hide. That’s when he would go back to starting at the beginning of this vicious circle which, in his eyes, was meant to be linear. However, one can easily deduce that this process like an attempt to find a corner in a circle. Perhaps there will arrive a day when he is that piece the puzzle can’t be complete without.

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7 Types Of Men You May Fall In Love With

Love is… a great feeling

Love is… figureoutable

Love is… the most favorite topic for anybody and everybody remotely attached to writing and expressing themselves

In reality, Love is… a waste of time. And I am not the only person saying it, FYI!

If it is this and so much more then why is it also the most-difficult feeling to sustain in a world where emotions seem to have taken a backseat, forever? Have we reached the point of not being able to recognize oneself in the mirror any longer? The ones who just breathe, but have forgotten to feel emotions, especially those of love?

A few days after turning 30 and being unapologetic for most things I am, I thought of putting together a few lists from the few experiences I have amassed in primarily the last decade and a half. So, to begin with, here’s a short list of the kind of men you may fall in love with in your lifetime. This is somewhat a collective database gained through experiences and lending my ear here and there hence, no names will be taken for the mere purpose of protecting others’ privacy:

  • The heart is stupid, it decides it has fallen in love, when it is just the hormones acting up. Try and stop the catastrophe before your unintentionally dilated pupils tell a different story altogether to the one who is definitely not ‘The One’. He’ll mostly be the person you knew one time, and you know what to do with these memories.
  • When you are what I like calling a ‘dil-phenkh aashiq’, you can’t decide how many men you can like/love/lust after at the same time. Most often than not, these feelings get mixed up instead and your prospective (insert feeling here) has already run miles away from you, with no intention of returning. Of course, we must discount the fact that after having run so far and long, his shoes must have worn out as well, so there is no chance of him returning all the same. Once again, don’t feel bad you told him how you felt, he just chose to make it a marathon, probably one where a few others will be following him, while women enjoy their peace without them.
  • He comes and goes, and every time says something different to you, in the process baffling you. There is nothing more to explain on this point, this is the most important lesson in a relationship and we’ve come to call it the He’s-Just-Not-That-Into-You feeling. Time to wake up from the illusion of the dream he’s probably been showing you.

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  • He once said he loved you, or just didn’t say the words, yet made you feel special in some way or another, and you being you thought this is it, the one you must move mountains for… and what did you find instead? He decided to hole up somewhere because he couldn’t bear the intensity of your feelings for him.
  • He seemed to be around you all the time. You felt he is right there waiting for you to realize his potential as the perfect boyfriend/significant other, but the moment you make your move, he decides to ‘open up’ to you to tell you how you and he were ‘just friends’. Guess what you feel at this point? Let me help, nothing but anger at yourself and regret of letting go of someone else who was probably more forthcoming when you were waiting for person of interest in this case to overstep the boundary he created in the first place. What a bummer!

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  • You’re in love with this one. He too says he is in love with you. But did you read the fineprint where there were umpteen conditions apply written? No? You’re not wrong, most of us don’t. Him loving you back comes with the baggage of spending all your weekends and other waking hours with him and obviously not talk and get to know each other better in these hours… but just exchange body fluids. Easy, isn’t it? You have sex with him till he gets bored of you and a few years later, especially if you’re lucky, you get invited to his wedding as well. Voila! 
  • This one’s going to be your most special – love interest, friend, mentor etc. You tell him everything about yourself, you call him your best friend and you expect almost nothing in return, except that shoulder to cry on from time to time. But should you EVER fall in love with this kind, all hell will break loose. In a worst case scenario, you may even lose face amidst the others in this ‘society’ we live in. But you’re going to be the girl who has her head held high at all times. Remember, we give much less importance to ourselves than we do to the men we are involved with but when you realize your first priority and your forever is you, most things will find the right crevice to fit in. 

7 seemed a bit less, but they should do their messaging bit to all of you reading this. Of course many of our experiences will differ, so it would be amazing having you share them with me. If nothing, then let’s just drink to the feeling of being headstrong, independent women even if we live in questionable circumstances, yet carry on doing what we’ve been doing all our lives thus far, and will continue doing so in the future too. Kudos! 

​Of Broken Hearts And Pricked Egos

“No”, he said rather vehemently to her constant pleas of asking him to be with her. He was practical enough to know where he had to draw the line. 

She, on the other hand, felt shattered and internally battered, and found herself crying loudly with his name not leaving her senses. She had been broken far enough to not tread this path again. 

Thus, the mind and the heart haven’t seen eye-to-eye and often have contrasting opinions about things big and small.

How Not To Give A Fuck…

… When That’s All You Really Know.

My current internet God, Mark Manson has inspired me write something I had been dwelling on for several years now and hence after reading The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, a simple way into understanding basic behavioral aspects in most human beings, this idea finally found some bearing. You know how they say that you will only truly ‘understand’ something when you are in a particular situation, thoughts like these, however, will facilitate the understanding, mostly because not everyone can, should and must get their hands dirty to learn about life and its marvels.

The question that arises is if wanting to Fuck This and Fuck That the solution to anything concrete? The answer is a simple “yes”. However trivial it might sound, there are really no two ways about it because through learning how not to give a fuck you achieve what some may call “unfuck” yourself. I call it a level close to having achieved urban nirvana, with no offense to any person or any faith. So the next time you feel mindfucked about issues at work, with parents, school, teachers etc., remember that it is important to address the issue if it bothers you because like Mark says, you don’t give a Fuck how the relationship building goes, it is the issue at hand that is bothersome and if the person at the receiving end of your wrath really cares, the line will not be crossed. This, because, it doesn’t matter how closely connected you are to someone, there always is a line that mustn’t be crossed.

At the beginning of this piece I spoke about having dwelled on something for the last few years and have been able to carry on despite being in the doldrums, mostly ’cause I would, and sometimes for no reason, give a piece of my mind to people on the other side, my parents. So this year, with the sudden passing of my father, I was angry, at him, at myself, at everyone who was bullying my generally gullible mother and before long came to realize that despite the very difficult 5 months, this perpetual I-will-smash-your-face-anger had fucked me up furthermore. So should I then be on a cleaning spree and become aloof to everything? Would it help, I am sure not. This, I must elaborate, wasn’t because I had run out of people to give a fuck unto, but because in this process of no self control or anger management, I was losing my peace of mind (obvious that there wouldn’t be any pieces remaining thence – you know, piece/peace homonym).

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Following Mark’s teaching, being indifferent and not giving a Fuck to something are different concepts where the former shows a large portion of cowardice one is made of. Of course, just by reading a few articles, books etc. doesn’t make me a know-it-all, even though a friend of mine has rechristened me Vanity (I am, okay with that, bleh). But I can say one thing for sure, from the heart, I am on the path to learning how to not give a Fuck to everything. In a day comprising 24 hours, we make ourselves much too vulnerable to almost everything. It is like getting affected by the water cooler because it pours down on you (or into your water bottle), I am certain you get the drift.

And like we have discussed, it isn’t about learning the art of enduring everything, no, for that you have to join a gym and do some endurance training. It is just knowing where to stop giving a Fuck because they don’t care about us hence we have to step in and be our own Superman/Superwoman. Agree? Since the essence of the article is inversely proportional to your thoughts about this supposed philosophical piece, I am going to stand by the stand I have taken *the boss has now left the building*

Here’s a powerful meditation that instantly brings you peace:

UPDATE: This process is still loading… getting there in no time (as of August 19, 2017)

Save ‘Em Boys

… for they are the ones who are the most in danger, from girls, women, society and the world at large, especially the ones who stand by their women.

Every time a woman wears a dress, jeans, shorts or a skirt, she is putting every man ogling at her in mortal danger. This loose sense of dressing causes men to lose their minds and the power to rationally think through any objectionable action like an attempt to rape or even going all the way. The woman has obviously asked for it. It’s all her fault. These poor men will be men, what wrong have they done by not evolving with the years?

If you’re a woman trying to co-exist with them men in the society today, you must know that you’re hurting them men. So if you go out asking for it, you shouldn’t feel offended when he makes his move and shows some swag, right? Infact take this piece of advice, you’ve probably read all the wrong books all your life. Even in fairy tales every damsel in distress needs saving and what’s better than being saved by her Prince Charming? In this case, it’s all the men who are merely unsuspecting onlookers, so if you provoke them to bring out their otherwise latent carnal desires, whose fault is it then?

Because you are a woman, you are SUPPOSED to be well-dressed, well-behaved, show how you come from good families and a few other easily doable steps that determine your safety. Should you fail to do so, should you decide to drink, smile at men, joke with them or even agree to have dinner with them regardless of how ravenous you may be at the time, you are only inviting these poor men to come closer, touch you, and show you your place (aukaat).

So wake up, ladies. You have to stop living, just so men  can live. You may be the reason men are alive, but you can’t have the same rights as them. It’s wrong. Do the society some good, save ’em boys, be their Dame in Shining Armor because their facade of being the Knight in Shining Armor has now been proven wrong, they are just douchebags in tin-foil.

P.S. Some creative liberty has been taken in switching between boys and men, it’s after all a matter of age and maturity. Although some boys love to think they have a little bit of Peterpan in them.

This post has been written post my thoughts after watching Pink this evening. The film’s concept was relevant then, is now and will continue to be so. 

Yeh Dooriyan

Ek ajeeb sa rishta hai mera… Tumhare phone ke saath kyunki tum toh masroof rehte ho. Shayad yehi masla hai mera, tum bina jeena aata nahi, tumhare saath jeena chahti nahi.

Jab tumhari yaad aaye, toh mann kehta hai abhi isi waqt tumhari aawaz sun loon. Raat bhar jab jaag ke khuli aankhon se sapne dekhne ki koshish karti hoon toh khud ko rok leti hoon, jaise ek paabandi lagadi ho khud par… Kyunki mera ahem mere pyaar se bada hai, aur tumhara bhi.

Kya tumhein yaad nahi woh lamhein Jo hum saath bitaya karte the aur vaadein nibhane ki baatein kiya karte the? Main toh nahi bhooli har woh lamha par waqt ne apna sitam kiya aur le aaya hamare beech yeh dooriyan, jab phone aur WhatsApp ke saath rishta reh gaya hai hamara, ek baar bhi woh aawaz sun loon ya woh jawaab paa loon tumse toh lagta hai jaise ek aur zindagi jee loon tumhare paas, tumhare saath, tumhare kareeb.

एक अजीब सा रिश्ता है मेरा… तुम्हारे फोन के साथ क्यूंकी तुम तो मसरूफ़ रहते हो. शायद यही मसला है मेरा, तुम बिना जीना आता नही, तुम्हारे साथ जीना चाहती नही.

जब तुम्हारी याद आए, तो मॅन कहता है अभी इसी वक़्त तुम्हारी आवाज़ सुन लून. रात भर जब जाग के खुली आँखों से सपने देखने की कोशिश करती हूँ तो खुद को रोक लेती हूँ, जैसे एक पाबंदी लगादि हो खुद पर… क्यूंकी मेरा अहेम मेरे प्यार से बड़ा है, और तुम्हारा भी.

क्या तुम्हें याद नही वो लम्हें जो हम साथ बिताया करते थे और वादें निभाने की बातें किया करते थे? मैं तो नही भूली हर वो लम्हा पर वक़्त ने अपना सितम किया और ले आया हमारे बीच यह दूरियाँ, जब फोन और WhatsApp के साथ रिश्ता रह गया है हमारा, एक बार भी वो आवाज़ सुन लून या वो जवाब पा लून तुमसे तो लगता है जैसे एक और ज़िंदगी जी लून तुम्हारे पास, तुम्हारे साथ, तुम्हारे करीब.

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How Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Teaches You To Thank God For Every Breath

When Zoya Akhtar changed the way the world envisioned female directors, especially in the Hindi Film Industry, you knew that you were getting yourself into a movie experience you would never want to forget. With a deep philosophical thought in the title, the film opened with something else altogether. The opening scene shows a guy and a girl in a romantic setting with the guy down on one knee, asking for her hand in marriage. Little could anyone have gauged what lay in store. Basically the guy in question, Kabir played by Abhay Deol, was a man with a heart of gold, the kinds that is called a ‘catch’ in real life.

Cut to the part that makes the film what it is. I am assuming that all of you who are reading this post have watched the film atleast once. Cause if you haven’t, then I will find you, and make you watch the film. Mostly ’cause this is one of the closest movies to my heart and became the answer to my loneliness when I used to walk aimlessly on the streets of Colaba uptil Marine Drive, sometimes beyond Chowpatty and back just to find a solution to where I was going in life. That was 2011. I had watched ZNMD 4 times in one week at a theatre that’s very close to my heart as well, the iconic Regal Cinema, all alone, and enjoyed each scene every single time. Since then there have been countless revisits to the movie, surely, but the first few remain unforgettable. 

This film also starred Hrithik Roshan and Farhan Akhtar in pivotal roles with Katrina Kaif and Kalki Koechlin adding the femininity in this high-on-testosterone drama. At the outset, this is an out-and-out guy film with three friends growing up together, going on to follow their respective passion(s) in life. I say passion and not dreams, because they hold a different meaning for everyone, and in most cases it cannot or is not the same.

So then why do I think that ZNMD is a film that teaches you to be thankful for every breath you take? Read on to find out:

A Competitive Spirit, Against All Odds

If Arjun (Hrithik) not had been driven my money, he wouldn’t have gone on to become equivalent of the wolf of Wall Street. In a candid conversation with a woman he fancies, it is revealed how after his father’s passing, his mother and he had a tough time getting by. Hence the reason behind his workaholism and his attitude towards personal relationships is understandable, and by the by justified.

Life-Changing Revelation

Farhan Akhtar uncovers a truth about his family that puts him in an existential crisis of kinds. When he tells his friends about it, they are obviously supportive, but it is a truth that Farhan has to face or hide in the deepest corners of his heart. His friends, however, are quite unsure of his ulterior motive of choosing Spain for his road trip. But, as they say, darr ke aage jeet hai

Dil Ki Betaabiyaan

As Farhan Akhtar recites, “dilon mein tum betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum“, he has very articulately expressed a simple funda… if you’re desperate, you are willing to go on till you realize your dreams. Desperation, unfortunately is a misunderstood term in today’s day and age. It has little to do with being a untamed bull (pun intended) and a lot to do with how being laidback and adopting a lackadaisical attitude can cost you your time, which is more precious than the most precious gem. In the words of Fun and their popular song, We Are Young, we can make the most of our time while we are young along with making memories to cherish, we know we can set the world on fire by just burning brighter than the sun. In other words, we need to believe we are all stars in our own right.

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Khwabon Ke Parindey

I’ll elaborate this line with a few lines from the song,

Kahe yeh dil ke jaa udhar bhi tu
Jahaan bhi leke jaaye aarzoo

It speaks about following your heart, through and through. We all know of atleast one person who has already done it or has definitely spoken about “leaving their job to travel and explore”, yours truly is one of them. But is that a long term or a short term solution? Is wanting to break free a sign of escapism or does it have anything to do with wanting to let go because monotony has completely seeped in and there is nothing more that you can endure beyond this point? Honestly, that’s a question this blog or I cannot answer for you. Mere dil ki aarzoo is to write to make myself heard, aapki kya hai woh pehchanni zaroori hai…

No Afsos, Seize The Day, Carpe Diem

zindagi-na-milegi-dobara Because Hrithik Roshan (Arjun) is a workaholic and has no time for love or respecting his partner, because Farhan Akhtar (Imran) writes his secrets in his little black book and is living with a haunting present and Abhay Deol (Kabir) is all-set to get married but doesn’t want to… the course the film and the road trip in Spain changes everything for the three musketeers. For everyone who loved the film and continues to do so, each time is a new learning from it. Then there are some who feel it’s a regular bromance and has nothing much to offer, but we will address this point later. Yes, there are several Hollywood films that speak about following your heart and going after what your true calling is… but I don’t know of many such films that inspired me to say leave everything and go be a hermit or something. 
zindagi-na-milegi-dobara Looking forward to hearing from you soon, kya pata Kal Ho Naa Ho. ❤