7 Types Of Men You May Fall In Love With

Love is… a great feeling

Love is… figureoutable

Love is… the most favorite topic for anybody and everybody remotely attached to writing and expressing themselves

In reality, Love is… a waste of time. And I am not the only person saying it, FYI!

If it is this and so much more then why is it also the most-difficult feeling to sustain in a world where emotions seem to have taken a backseat, forever? Have we reached the point of not being able to recognize oneself in the mirror any longer? The ones who just breathe, but have forgotten to feel emotions, especially those of love?

A few days after turning 30 and being unapologetic for most things I am, I thought of putting together a few lists from the few experiences I have amassed in primarily the last decade and a half. So, to begin with, here’s a short list of the kind of men you may fall in love with in your lifetime. This is somewhat a collective database gained through experiences and lending my ear here and there hence, no names will be taken for the mere purpose of protecting others’ privacy:

  • The heart is stupid, it decides it has fallen in love, when it is just the hormones acting up. Try and stop the catastrophe before your unintentionally dilated pupils tell a different story altogether to the one who is definitely not ‘The One’. He’ll mostly be the person you knew one time, and you know what to do with these memories.
  • When you are what I like calling a ‘dil-phenkh aashiq’, you can’t decide how many men you can like/love/lust after at the same time. Most often than not, these feelings get mixed up instead and your prospective (insert feeling here) has already run miles away from you, with no intention of returning. Of course, we must discount the fact that after having run so far and long, his shoes must have worn out as well, so there is no chance of him returning all the same. Once again, don’t feel bad you told him how you felt, he just chose to make it a marathon, probably one where a few others will be following him, while women enjoy their peace without them.
  • He comes and goes, and every time says something different to you, in the process baffling you. There is nothing more to explain on this point, this is the most important lesson in a relationship and we’ve come to call it the He’s-Just-Not-That-Into-You feeling. Time to wake up from the illusion of the dream he’s probably been showing you.

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  • He once said he loved you, or just didn’t say the words, yet made you feel special in some way or another, and you being you thought this is it, the one you must move mountains for… and what did you find instead? He decided to hole up somewhere because he couldn’t bear the intensity of your feelings for him.
  • He seemed to be around you all the time. You felt he is right there waiting for you to realize his potential as the perfect boyfriend/significant other, but the moment you make your move, he decides to ‘open up’ to you to tell you how you and he were ‘just friends’. Guess what you feel at this point? Let me help, nothing but anger at yourself and regret of letting go of someone else who was probably more forthcoming when you were waiting for person of interest in this case to overstep the boundary he created in the first place. What a bummer!

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  • You’re in love with this one. He too says he is in love with you. But did you read the fineprint where there were umpteen conditions apply written? No? You’re not wrong, most of us don’t. Him loving you back comes with the baggage of spending all your weekends and other waking hours with him and obviously not talk and get to know each other better in these hours… but just exchange body fluids. Easy, isn’t it? You have sex with him till he gets bored of you and a few years later, especially if you’re lucky, you get invited to his wedding as well. Voila! 
  • This one’s going to be your most special – love interest, friend, mentor etc. You tell him everything about yourself, you call him your best friend and you expect almost nothing in return, except that shoulder to cry on from time to time. But should you EVER fall in love with this kind, all hell will break loose. In a worst case scenario, you may even lose face amidst the others in this ‘society’ we live in. But you’re going to be the girl who has her head held high at all times. Remember, we give much less importance to ourselves than we do to the men we are involved with but when you realize your first priority and your forever is you, most things will find the right crevice to fit in. 

7 seemed a bit less, but they should do their messaging bit to all of you reading this. Of course many of our experiences will differ, so it would be amazing having you share them with me. If nothing, then let’s just drink to the feeling of being headstrong, independent women even if we live in questionable circumstances, yet carry on doing what we’ve been doing all our lives thus far, and will continue doing so in the future too. Kudos! 

How Not To Give A Fuck…

… When That’s All You Really Know.

My current internet God, Mark Manson has inspired me write something I had been dwelling on for several years now and hence after reading The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck, a simple way into understanding basic behavioral aspects in most human beings, this idea finally found some bearing. You know how they say that you will only truly ‘understand’ something when you are in a particular situation, thoughts like these, however, will facilitate the understanding, mostly because not everyone can, should and must get their hands dirty to learn about life and its marvels.

The question that arises is if wanting to Fuck This and Fuck That the solution to anything concrete? The answer is a simple “yes”. However trivial it might sound, there are really no two ways about it because through learning how not to give a fuck you achieve what some may call “unfuck” yourself. I call it a level close to having achieved urban nirvana, with no offense to any person or any faith. So the next time you feel mindfucked about issues at work, with parents, school, teachers etc., remember that it is important to address the issue if it bothers you because like Mark says, you don’t give a Fuck how the relationship building goes, it is the issue at hand that is bothersome and if the person at the receiving end of your wrath really cares, the line will not be crossed. This, because, it doesn’t matter how closely connected you are to someone, there always is a line that mustn’t be crossed.

At the beginning of this piece I spoke about having dwelled on something for the last few years and have been able to carry on despite being in the doldrums, mostly ’cause I would, and sometimes for no reason, give a piece of my mind to people on the other side, my parents. So this year, with the sudden passing of my father, I was angry, at him, at myself, at everyone who was bullying my generally gullible mother and before long came to realize that despite the very difficult 5 months, this perpetual I-will-smash-your-face-anger had fucked me up furthermore. So should I then be on a cleaning spree and become aloof to everything? Would it help, I am sure not. This, I must elaborate, wasn’t because I had run out of people to give a fuck unto, but because in this process of no self control or anger management, I was losing my peace of mind (obvious that there wouldn’t be any pieces remaining thence – you know, piece/peace homonym).

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Following Mark’s teaching, being indifferent and not giving a Fuck to something are different concepts where the former shows a large portion of cowardice one is made of. Of course, just by reading a few articles, books etc. doesn’t make me a know-it-all, even though a friend of mine has rechristened me Vanity (I am, okay with that, bleh). But I can say one thing for sure, from the heart, I am on the path to learning how to not give a Fuck to everything. In a day comprising 24 hours, we make ourselves much too vulnerable to almost everything. It is like getting affected by the water cooler because it pours down on you (or into your water bottle), I am certain you get the drift.

And like we have discussed, it isn’t about learning the art of enduring everything, no, for that you have to join a gym and do some endurance training. It is just knowing where to stop giving a Fuck because they don’t care about us hence we have to step in and be our own Superman/Superwoman. Agree? Since the essence of the article is inversely proportional to your thoughts about this supposed philosophical piece, I am going to stand by the stand I have taken *the boss has now left the building*

Here’s a powerful meditation that instantly brings you peace:

We Need To Talk… About Katrina Kaif’s Abs

Awe is a small word for what I have been feeling every time I look at Katrina Kaif and her abs in Baar Baar Dekho. First of all, it’s not fair to anyone who believed that ‘curves’ were in, secondly, this woman is going to give a major complex to even herself from a few years ago. Maybe she wrote a diary when she was younger, deciding to look like this when she crosses 30:

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For people like me, who have lived on the fluffier side of life for say, 29 out of 29 years, this is far from inspiration. Trust me, I am not feeling bad, at all!

During the trailer launch event of Baar Baar Dekho, Kat apparently revealed the reason she went ahead and did crunches, repeatedly… which was (no brownie points for this) her much-talked-about (and much-alleged) breakup with her long-term beau, Ranbir Kapoor.

I am now out of the self-loathing phase, almost! But do you see what she is doing? Women and men alike will want to know how she achieved this dream body of hers and yesss we have a new fad coming to town very soon! I believe I read somewhere that Katrina gave up water to get abs like these. Hmmm.

When Katrina dances (or walks), this is what you see:

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While you notice the cool attire, you cannot take your eyes off THOSE abs:

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And then she hits the beach so confidently seducing her onscreen beau with her eyes (we would like to think so!)

giphy2 A shaadi function follows where Katrina is seen wearing this lovely pink lehenga, but her abs are the main focus again:

tumblr_obczi2x8081rwbf4ro7_r1_540 Kya kar rahe ho yaar!

I did mention a few months ago how she was getting ready to make everyone jealous with that body of hers, I didn’t believe myself also that time and had to go back to this… 

Did you forget this, though? Don’t blame her for looking so hot, she gave us a hint well in advance.

thequint2f2016-072f44e88f4e-65ab-4996-9200-6643b8f57d7e2f17q9csThis one’s probably the look your neighborhood aunty gives every girl of marriageable age at every event or shaadi, also Katrina-inspired…

tumblr_obczi2x8081rwbf4ro2_500 Sorry aunty, everyone doesn’t have it in them 😛 

As far as ‘fitting’ into set notions of society like condensed milk in kulfi moulds goes, a few friends, classmates and colleagues heard about my new year resolution this year. I planned to learn the Hula Hoop and I wasted no time in rushing to a sports shop to buy a bright yellow one that now collects dust in some corner of the house. Obviously, two attempts at learning weren’t quite enough. Or I may have lied to you and this might have happened:

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You see what I don’t see… dancing makes us even more jiggly wiggly:

a02dee0bd5d008ab_tumblr_metwlbciao1rj5u13o1_500-xxxlarge Happy & awesome

But, we’re cool nonetheless! Raise your hands if you feel what I am saying here and let me know what you think about this brutally honest post.

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The thoughts above are all mine. Please be nice and give some credit incase you plan on borrowing some of them 🙂